I want to share a few things I think God has shown me about our next appointment:

1.       It will be harder; and

2.       I am not coming back.

When God told me my time at Amigo Fiel was over, I believe He shared my future appointment would be harder. This has been true so far. It has been hard recovering physically, hard finding a part time job, hard finding my next appointment. Yes, it has been harder. So maybe my furlough time will be harder?

This also makes me think of the teams of Americans who served in Mexico asking me to share about how hard it was to be a missionary there. But honestly, that part was easy. I stood out. Tall white girl alert. While shopping, kids used to point at me while tugging on their mothers clothing. That was usually the first question Mexicans asked me, why are you here? Open door to share about my faith. So harder could also mean I will blend in?

On furlough I have been praying even more. I feel like He told me that I am not coming back. At first, I thought this meant I was walking into sure death. Freaky. I argued with Him, trying to convince Him that it would be just as easy to kill me here, no need to move me half way around the world. But I still felt the need to ‘go.’

After a few weeks of talking with God I came to terms with the idea of going so far just to die. The first people I shared this with were my sister Donna and my cousin Alicia. It was hard to say it out loud, “I feel like I am not coming back.” We were standing in the kitchen of a rental house in Colorado Springs, Colorado after a family reunion. I blurted it out, crying. We talked about it a little bit and I felt better sharing the burden. Not coming back could mean a lot of things. Someone pointed out it could mean I am moving to the new area, will live there 50 years then die there, but just not return to the USA. I liked the sound of that better. I know where I’m going when I die but the whole dying process doesn’t really excite me. I am still willing to go either way though.

What does harder and not coming back mean? My only conclusion so far; I don’t know for sure. What I am sure of is your prayers are appreciated no matter what these mean.

Prayer Points:

Thanking God for his provision, guidance, and protection.

Finishing Much Love (Mexico) cookbook and getting it released.

Serving in Norway; finding a ministry connection and a way into the country.

Norwegians; soften hearts, salvations, sanctifications.

More workers in Norway; I am hearing of the great need from current workers.

Raising up the Care Team.